


The Bed Space Between Us

by topdawg27



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt Tony Stark, Pepperony Week, Sharing a Bed, Vaginal Fingering, pepper and tony on a break, set after civil war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 06:35:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20110750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topdawg27/pseuds/topdawg27
Summary: Set immediately after Civil War. Tony has just returned from Siberia. With three broken ribs, a fractured arm and a high fever, he has isolated himself in the Stark manor on the outskirts of New York. With Pepper gone and Rhodes still in the hospital, he is bitter, depressed and lonely. Until an unexpected visitor comes by.Created for PepperonyWeek2019, "Sharing a Bed" trope.





	1. Mr. Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Every chapter in this fic, is represented by a 50's or 60's song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original song was co-written and sung by Bobby Vinton.

Tony placed a kettle on the stove. He struck a match, lit the gas and turned the heat up, so the water would boil quicker. Then he moved away from the stove, towards the kitchen window. 

Leaning against the wall, he pushed aside the heavy curtain and stared out at the blinding white landscape, that stretched on as far as the eye could see. 

The snow covered the land in a picturesque blanket of white, that seemed so peaceful and clean but he knew all too well, how the enveloping whiteness felt as it seeped into warm flesh and slowly turned one's blood to ice. 

Six days had passed, since he had been discharged from the military hospital at the U.S. army base in Germany. Technically, he hadn't been discharged. He just left. 

Fighting two chemically enhanced soldiers in the biting Siberian winter, had left him bloodied and broken, both mentally and physically. 

The doctor at the hospital, had told him he needed rest and care and had insisted that he stay for a month but Tony just wanted to be alone.

So when he returned to the States, he had traveled incognito to Scardsale, New York, to hide away in his father's bachelor pad, a sprawling two-storey colonial mansion located on the outskirts of the suburb.

The house had been empty for years. 

Friday had insisted repeatedly that the stale musty air wasn't good for his already weak lungs but Tony was adamant. He managed to tidy up the study on the first floor and the kitchen, so he decided to restrict himself to those areas.

He could walk and move about. His arm was still in a sling cast but he could manage with one hand. His bruised left eye and stiff ribs were healing slowly. 

What really bothered him, was the freezing cold. No matter how much he tried to keep it out, the bleak deep cold had seeped into the house and into him. 

His chest ached from the icy chill. With every deep breath, he felt as if he was going to collapse inwards with the pressure of the cold.

Another problem was the insomnia. Tony simply couldn't fall asleep. He would lie down, close his eyes and try his best but hours later, he was wide awake. 

He was so tired but his brain or his heart or something within him, just wouldn't let him sleep. 

So he did what he always did when he couldn't sleep: he tinkered. He didn't have his lab or his tools but he had a house that badly needed fixing up and he decided to work on one room at a time. 

With his limited physical strength, his progress was slow but he kept at it. Working with his hands, soothed his mind and his soul. Plus, it helped stave off the inevitable slide into depression. 

Today, it was the kitchen's turn. It had been redone before, way back in the fifties, so it had a number of old fashioned fixtures and pipes. 

Aside from the howling wind outside and the gentle hiss of the kettle, the kitchen was silent. 

Usually, he would have had Friday for company as he worked but ever since they had come here, she had nagged him incessantly about his health and his lack of sleep and his eating habits. 

Two days ago, he had reached the end of his patience and so he muted her completely. She was still active in his Stark phone but couldn't communicate with him or monitor him.

"She's not going to like that. But I don't care. Damn testy AI... why can't she understand... I just... I just want to be left alone."

He muttered softly to no one, staring absently at the white winter landscape. 

"Actually I am alone. Bruce is... somewhere dead or alive. Everyone I thought I knew, is against me... Pepper is with Stark Industries...Rhodey..."

Rhodes drawn face on the hospital bed, his eyes closed, his body surrounded by tubes and monitors, flashed before his eyes. 

Tony swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the sudden lump in his throat. "Rhodey is going to pull through... he has to... he just has to!"

The kettle whistled loudly, startling him. He turned and slowly walked back to the gas. He turned off the heat, picked up the kettle and poured the hot water into his mug of coffee.

"Can't keep using gas to heat water. I can set up another electrical outlet there... and then I could..." he began to stir the coffee. "Then I could get an electric kettle..."

He took a deep swig of the instant coffee and grimaced at the cheap bitter taste.

"Has this coffee been around since Dad was here? This tastes like sludge... yuck... I miss my French press... my Nuova Simonelli coffee machine... I miss drinking my coffee in my home..."

The thought of his beachfront rustic villa in LA, his home with Pepper, made his heart clench with pain. 

Even though it had been 6 months since Pepper had left, her essence, her spirit prevailed in the house. They had built the house from scratch, arguing over its design, overseeing the planning, shopping for furniture together, making the villa a bittersweet reminder of their relationship. He knew he was a coward but he couldn't bear staying there all alone, especially in his current weak state.

Tony sighed heavily and set the cup down. He refilled the kettle and lighted a slow fire, so that he would have some warm water to refill his cup. 

He rubbed his forehead with his hands, trying to stop the overwhelming tide of anxiety and sadness building up in his chest.

"I got to keep myself together, I can't afford to think about the villa now! I can't... I can't think about all that right now." 

The large wrench glimmered on the kitchen table, catching his eye and he snapped it up quickly.

"Got to work, got to keep working, don't, just don't think about anything else!"

He slowly bent before the kitchen sink and studied the ancient plumbing carefully. 

"Seems solid. What if I just tighten the connectors? Fuck, this one has been patched together using duct tape!"

He straightened, grinning with happiness. 

"This looks like a job for Pipe Man! So I need to turn off the water line, take out the duct tape and the old leaking connector and then fit a new one in..."

He looked around the kitchen absently. 

"Where would the spare pipes be stored... where would they be... in the basement perhaps? Or maybe there is some storage room on this floor? Let's check it out."

He slowly walked out of the kitchen and turned right at the end of the corridor. 

"What's that door for? It has to be the closet."

He walked to the door and opened it. Piles of boxes were neatly stacked one on top of each other. 

"Hmmmm... I wonder if it would be easier to just order some pipe fittings online and get them delivered... or maybe I could drive to the nearest hardware store... I can drive... I think I can drive... but... I'd have to wear a disguise... sunglasses or something... I could also pick up some things to eat..." 

Suddenly, the silence was shattered by the loud twat-twat-twat noise of an approaching helicopter. Tony stepped back in alarm and looked up at the ceiling.

"What the hell! Who is that?!" 

He shut the closet door and turned towards the main door. He took two steps forward and then stopped abruptly.

"What if they are hostiles! I can't just walk out the front door! Got to go around them!" 

He quickly hobbled back into the kitchen and towards the back door.

Tony opened the door and peered out. A blast of cold air hit him straight in the face. He felt the freezing temperature sting his body but he ignored the sensation and took a step forward. 

The snow was so soft and powdery that his foot sank in almost immediately but he lifted his leg high and began to trudge carefully through the whiteness. The wind continued to howl and whistle but the roar of the helicopter was louder and he moved as fast as he could, to move around the corner of the house.

A black helicopter was slowly hovering over the snow-covered lawn, to the left of the main pathway to the house. He could see the white Stark logo emblazoned on its side. 

"It is someone from the company! But why are they here?" 

The helicopter landed gently on the snow. Its doors slid open and two burly security guards stepped out. 

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 

"Some bigwig... Who the fuck is this?"

A clump of snow fell on him, startling him with its coldness but he shook it off like a dog and kept himself hidden.

Tony watched the guards help someone out of the helicopter, a slim tall figure dressed in a full heavy-duty black coat. He couldn't see who it was because the figure had pulled the coat's thick hood over its head. 

The figure turned towards the house and pointed at the door. Then the guard pulled a bag out of the helicopter and that sent a chill of fear down his spine. 

His heart hammered in his chest as the figure began to walk forward, the burly guards following it with the bag.

"Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Something's going down!" 

He turned and stumbled back in the snow, trying to reach for balance. Then he lurched forward, running as fast as he could, back through the thick snow, ignoring the burning pain in his chest.

He reached the kitchen door and closed it hard, leaning back against it for support. 

"They are coming through the front door! Maybe its your accountant! But he would call first! Maybe its some Board member! But what do they want with me? Pepper is the CEO! Unless she sent them!"

He didn't know why but he was panicking. His heart was thudding so loudly in his chest, it was almost painful. But the burning ache in his chest, was even more agonizing. His palms were sweating and there was a loud whistling noise in his ears. 

"Got to calm down... whatever it is... I can deal with it... three to one... but they don't realize... I may be injured but I got my suit..."

He stretched his arm out and said clearly, "Arm and both leg gauntlets. Now!"

He walked out of the kitchen and towards the main door. He heard a loud whooshing sound and from the top floor, his armor pieces flew down the stairs and then flew straight at him. His gauntlets settled in place on his legs and he fitted the arm gauntlet. 

"So I got one arm and 1 leg... where's the other leg... oh no... shit! I disabled the left one because I was fixing it... oh well... anyway... this is going to have to be enough." 

He stood in front of the main door, gauntlet-covered arm raised, one foot forward, one back to brace himself.

"I should wear my chest piece but... its too heavy... this should work, I just need to scare them, the raised arm move always scares everyone. Don't panic Tony, keep it cool, you got this." 

There was a sharp rap on the door and he called out, "Whatever you are selling, we don't need any! Leave me alone!"

A muffled voice said something softly and he engaged his arm laser, aiming at the door.

"I said go away! I got a big hot laser gun and I will use it!"

He could hear the figures murmuring on the other side of the door and then all was quiet. Then he heard footsteps moving away from the house.

He exhaled heavily in relief. The pressure in his chest eased and he lowered his arm.

Then something tapped against the mail slot on the door and he tensed up.

The slot was pushed inwards and a very familiar voice said, "Mr. Stark, please stand down and let me in."

For a minute, he couldn't believe his ears. 

The voice said softly, "Are you still there? Tony?"

"Buddy, whoever you are!" He sputtered, "That's an excellent imitation but I ain't buying it!" 

"Tony..." the voice said with a heavy sigh, in a manner he knew so well. 

Without thinking, he twisted the lock and pulled the door open. 

Pepper stood right before him, covered from head to toe in the thick black down coat, standing out clearly against the endless white snow all around them. 

"Beautiful house you have here, Stark. You are such a difficult man to track down..." she said, her lips curving slightly. "I should have guessed that you would hide away in the unlikeliest of places..." 

Tony opened his mouth and then shut it. Multiple emotions courses through him: shock, disbelief and then shame due to his dishevelment. 

But he hadn't seen Pepper in over six months and here she was, actually standing before him, so clean and wholesome with her pink cold-flushed cheeks and reddish gold hair tied back in a neat power bun. 

Suddenly he was overcome with joy.

_She's here! She came! She came to see me!_

He took a step forward, holding his good arm out, to hug her to him, as was their habit. Her blue eyes widened and flickered with some emotion and he paused abruptly. 

_Wait... I can't do that anymore... we aren't together anymore... she isn't my girlfriend... _

He quickly twisted his arm towards his head, ruffling his hair. Her small smile faltered and she lowered her gaze, nibbling on her lip. 

"Why are you here?" He blurted out and then cringed at his own rudeness.

"I ... I was in the neighborhood... so I thought I'd drop by and see you..."

He tilted his head in confusion. 

"In Scarsdale? In this fucking miserable weather?"

She said softly, "In anticipation of the G8 summit, all the Fortune 500 R&D companies are meeting in New York. I came along to represent Stark Industries... the meeting is in two hours and I..."

She paused. "Well, I spoke to James and he was worried about you, so I thought-"

"So Rhodey told you to check on me..." he finished, trying hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "Well. take a good look. Got to give a proper report to the Colonel."

Pepper bit her lip in agitation. "Tony..."

"I'll make it easy." He slightly raised his injured arm. "A fractured arm. And oh, a black eye." 

"And two broken ribs." She said tightly. 

"How do you know about that? Wait, Rhodey." 

"Your chest... the cavity where your Arc used to rest... it is paining you, isn't it?" 

Tony stared at her suspiciously. 

"I don't remember telling Rhodey anything about my chest."

"I can see the pain on your face, Tony..." she murmured. "You need medical attention and care." 

Her words made his chest tighten with painful emotion. He took a deep breath and then exhaled heavily, ignoring the throbbing ache.

"Well... this isn't the first time I've been hurt... but all those times before... there was someone around to care for me. This time..." He bared his teeth in a semblance of a smile. "This time, I have to take care of myself. And I got this." 

Much to his disappointment, Pepper did not react visibly to his barb. She pursed her lips and nodded as if in agreement. 

He dug his nails into his palm, trying to stamp down his bitterness. He wanted to rail at her, scream out his frustration and rage, to make her hurt the way he was hurting inside.

_Can't you see, Pepper? You don't have to take care of me anymore! Your job is done! So don't pretend to care for me and then leave!_

"Tony..." she murmured, her blue eyes filled with a strange melancholy. "Just remember that you are only human underneath all that chrome and metal. Pain... pain is your body's way of telling you to stop, to rest... maybe.. maybe for once... you should listen to it..."

He pushed his hair off his brow and looked at his wrist. Then he remembered he was wearing his gauntlet and dug his hand into his pocket. 

Pepper asked hesitantly, "Am I keeping you from something?"

He shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "I got some work in the kitchen, so..." 

She nodded and then he noticed she had a small duffel bag by her side. She picked it up. 

Tony thought she was leaving and mentally prepared to say something short, snappy and snarky. 

"So, thank-"

"May I come in for a while?" Pepper interrupted him smoothly. 

He stared at her dumb-founded. "Come in?"

"Yes." She said simply. "I can keep you company while you work."

Tony was struck speechless. His mind was racing, bringing up bittersweet memories from so long ago.

_Just like old times... you would come down the stairs in your sensuous Louboutins, talking about this meeting and that contract and me tinkering away, trying my best to distract you, to make you blush, to make you smile... then you'd patiently listen to me go on and on about my latest fascination... while I worked, you'd fuss over me, tidy up, make me eat and drink water... and when it was bedtime, you'd get me to leave by seducing me... flash your porcelain legs, subtle caresses and finally, drug me with slow soft kisses... shit. This is a mistake, I can't... I can't let you in, I don't want to remember old times, good times, our times together, I don't want to relive the past. No._

Then he realized that Pepper had tilted her head slightly to one side and was watching him quietly. Her clear blue eyes searched his curiously. 

_On the other hand... why not? It is a mistake but... what more can I lose, I've already lost her..._

A cold gust of wind howled through the snow and Pepper shivered. He saw that and moved to one side. 

"Yeah, you can come in for a while, I guess..." 


	2. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smoke Gets in Your Eyes sung by The Platters.

Pepper closed the door behind her and then tried latching the complicated lock.

"Here, let me." He said gruffly. "It's one of those old-timey mortise bolts that are deadlocks, they lock from the inside but they need a good shove to get into place."

He reached for the lock but then realized he was wearing his gauntlet on his good hand.

"Got to take this off first..."

"Let me help you." Pepper said and before he could refuse, she placed her hand on his gauntlet and neatly slid the glove's locking mechanism open. Then she lifted the armor piece away from his hand. 

With this hand free, he reached for the lock spring and pulled it back to engage the lock.

"So you still remember how to take off my suit manually..." he said wryly as he worked on the lock. "You were always quick at it... your delicate hands must make it easier .. Happy struggled coz he was all thumbs." 

"I had to be quick." She said with an odd note in her voice. "Remember the night of the Fireman's Charity benefit? The Ten Rings had attacked Gulmira and you flew to Afghanistan in your brand new suit to stop them..."

"Oh yes! When I returned, you found me struggling with the bots in the basement, to get my suit off! I still remember the look on your face, Pep!" 

He slid the lock home and straightened, turning to grin at her. She was leaning against the wall close to the door, her arms crossed over her chest. 

Her lips were curved beautifully in a soft smile and her blue eyes twinkled mischievously.

"I thought that you had invented a way to have sex with the bots but things had gone haywire! Then I was scared shitless because how the hell was I going to get you out of that mechanical mess!" 

"After all those years of working for me, there weren't many things that could shock you . But that day, that day..." he said teasingly. "That day, your poker face slipped! It was hilarious!" 

"Working for you, Mr. Stark, had prepared me for the most unexpected things ever..." her eyes softened as her smile grew. "But that suit and what you were planning to do... I simply wasn't prepared for what was going to come next..."

"Neither was I, Pep..." 

She straightened and began to unbutton her coat. 

"But you were willing to do whatever it took, Tony. You were so full of purpose and confidence and so determined." 

He shrugged, now uncomfortable at the memory of him becoming Iron Man. 

"As Buzz Lightyear put it, I was good at falling with style. Anyways... eight years later... nothing much has changed, has it? I am on my own once again, no team, no sidekick, no nothing, people are put in harm's way because of me and the US government is after my blood because of my decisions and my inabilities and my suit..."

Pepper took a step forward and surprised him by taking his hand tightly.

"Listen to me, Tony!" she whispered heatedly, "You are not responsible for Steve Rogers going rogue! He took matters into his own hands and turned his back on his duties for his friend! If there's anyone who is responsible for the current sorry state of things, it is him! Not you!" 

He was taken aback by the fury blazing in her eyes.

"Ross kept saying I should have contained the situation better..." he muttered. 

"Ross is an ass! If he had ideas on how to contain the situation, he should have been there! It is very easy to criticize after things have happened!"

Images flashed before his eyes. 

The blinding cold, the musty dingy bunker, the raw pain bursting through him with each hard slam or violent punch to his chest, his arms, his back...

The powerful rage coursing through him, the thirst for revenge, to make the Winter Soldier hurt as he had hurt... 

The grainy flickering image of his mother murmuring for help before a metal hand closed around her throat... 

His vision blurred and without thinking, he took a deep breath. Then cascading waves of sharp pain radiated through his chest and he gasped loudly. 

"Tony!" Pepper exclaimed. "Where does it hurt? Tell me!"

"Ribs..." he muttered hoarsely. "Forgot.... no deep breaths.... fuck..." 

She gently placed both her hands on either side of his chest. Even through the pain, he could feel her soft delicate fingers warming his flesh through his shirt. 

"Just relax... your body is too tense and wound tightly..." she whispered slowly as her hands carefully floated over his ribs. "Close your eyes and slowly let go. Don't exhale in a rush."

Tony's ego wanted to push her hands away. 

_I don't want you to take care of me..._ it hissed angrily in his head. _I don't need your care._

But his heart listened to her. And as he closed his eyes, he thought, _I miss this... I miss her caring touch, I miss her concern, her gentleness... I miss coming home to her love after the storm... I miss this..._

Her fingers slowly stroked his chest with a feather-light touch, sending little tingles of sensation coursing through him. 

The familiar heavenly scent of her filled his nostrils, making him feel at peace. 

Ever since he had known Pepper, he had been entranced by the gentle natural aroma of vanilla bean and lilies that surrounded her like a fragrant cloud. 

It had been a welcome change from the heavy cloying perfumed scents of his female companions at the time. 

"Your chest may also be aching due to the cold..." he heard Pepper say softly. "You can't just walk around in a plaid shirt, Tony! You need to wear a jacket or a sweater or something on your chest! You haven't even worn your undershirt!"

"Pep, this is all just... I don't know... maybe I am getting too old for all this... too old and too tired to keep getting beaten up..." 

He felt Pepper's hand tense on his left rib, so he opened his eyes. Her face was expressionless but her wide blue eyes spoke volumes. 

Tony knew he had her utmost interest. 

_She's never openly asked but the question is always there... in her eyes...When will it end? When will you stop being Iron Man? When is enough enough? _

"I know it sounds so out of character coming from me..." he said wryly. "I am Tony Stark, I am invincible ! I've always lived my life to the max!"

"You mean you've always been pushing yourself to the limit, Tony..." she said with a shake of her head, her eyes soft shimmering blue. "In everything you do, you do it to win!"

"But I lost so much over the last few months..." he said painfully. "I lost the Avengers... I nearly lost Rhodey... I... I feel as if I lost my parents all over again! I was never at peace with their death but now... now after so many years, I learn that they were brutally murdered and a good friend, a man I trusted, a man my father admired! He knew about it and he didn't tell me! He didn't tell me he was protecting a Hydra assassin... and I lost..."

He swallowed hard, struggling to control his emotions.

_I lost you Pepper... the one thing I have struggled so hard over the years to protect... all my armor, all my upgrades, all my strength... and I couldn't hold on to you... you are all I ever had... _

That last thought hit him hard. He felt a blinding flash of pain in his Arc scar and his knees buckled. A shrill piercing whistle filled his ears.

Over the whistling, he heard Pepper shout "Tony! I got you!" 

Strong warm arms moved around his chest and shifted him. Her lean elegant frame lent him the support to remain upright. 

"Here... hold on to me... I won't let you fall..." she whispered and she guided his good arm around her shoulders and braced him against her soft side.

He could still hear the whistle in his head, so he blinked and shook himself to clear it but it didn't go away.

"You aren't imagining the sound, Tony..." Pepper said gently. "Is there something on the fire?"

"Fuck! I mean sorry, shit, there is a kettle... I was boiling some water... this house... it has all these..." he exhaled slowly, trying to remaining upright. 

"You need to sit down or lie down. Where's the sofa? Why is everything covered in here?"

"Too old... the sunlight would have damaged it, so..." 

"Is that the kitchen? Does it have a table or something to sit on?"

"Yeah..." his vision blurred and he felt bile rise up in his throat, so he closed his mouth to stop himself from vomiting.

"Tony! Come on, let's go to the kitchen!"

Pepper gently supported him as she turned and together, they walked towards the kitchen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the eternal conflict between Ego and Heart...


	3. Love Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love Hurts, NOT by Nazareth but by the great, underappreciated Roy Orbison.

Five minutes later, he was sitting down at the vintage cherry-wood kitchen table with Pepper's thick down coat draped around his shoulders.

Pepper bustled about the kitchen like she owned it. She refused to let him have coffee, saying he didn't need any more caffeine. Instead, she had pulled out a can of chicken soup from somewhere. 

Then, ignoring his protests, she had rummaged around in the storage cabinet and found an old towel. For some reason, she insisted on washing it.

He studied her quietly as she bent over the sink, rinsing out the towel. Her slate-grey suit jacket was on another chair and she had rolled up the sleeves of her crisp white shirt to her elbows. The wind outside had disturbed her neat power bun, so fine tendrils of reddish-gold hair floated around her slender delicate face, shaking as she thoroughly washed the towel.

Even though she was dressed in her corporate best, a slim short pencil skirt and grey stilettos, she strangely seemed so effectively domestic.

_This seems straight out of a war-era housekeeping ad... me, the worn out soldier husband home from the war and my picture-perfect working wife, cleaning and cooking and taking care of me after she's spent a hard day at work..._

Pepper straightened from the sink, catching his attention. She absently rubbed her brow with the back of her hand. sighing softly. Then she wrung the towel out firmly.

_I can see myself coming home through the snow, peeking in through the window ... Pepper's here, washing dishes... my wife... _

The thought made his heart clench painfully with sadness but he sadistically carried on with his day dreaming.

_I sneak in and steal a kiss, hold her soft body close to mine and kiss her... then I'd stand next to her and help her wash, talking to her and then I'd persuade her to leave the dishes and come upstairs... up to our big four-poster bed... then we'd make love for hours and hours, in this sprawling ancient house of ours... _

"Tony..." 

His name being murmured softly, made him sit up with shock. Pepper stood in front of him, holding out the moist towel. 

"Are you alright?" She asked gently. 

He shook his head in the negative and she moved right next to him, her body brushing against the side of his face.

"Pep, what!"

"Hold still... this is going to feel really cold." 

Tony yelped at the freezing cold sensations that raced through his body, when the wet towel was placed on the back of his neck. He shivered and squirmed, trying to escape the tingling chill but Pepper had a firm grip.

"Tony, this will help you with your nausea..."

"It is so cold!" He groaned, shivers racing through him.

"Calm down now... here..." he felt the cloth being gently moved over the back of his head. She massaged his hair tenderly and slowly.

He was now used to the coldness, so he closed his eyes lightly and tilted his head forward. Then she lifted the towel and gently tipped his head back, moving the tower to his forehead.

His bones felt limp and pliant and so damn relaxed at the soothing firm touch of her fingers through the soft moist cloth. 

"Don't worry, I won't touch your face..." she murmured softly, "just your forehead... just rubbing it a bit..."

"Do my beard..." he muttered hoarsely, enjoying her ministrations too much for his own good.

"Your beard..." Pepper was holding back her laughter, he could tell. "Alright..."

Tony held himself still and then quivered with joy as the moist cold towel massaged his left jaw. He felt her fingers kneading his flesh through the towel and strange tingling feelings ran up and down his spine.

"Am I being too rough?"

"Nonsense, Potts!" He growled roughly, tilting his head back to give her wonderful fingers better access to his jaw. Her fingers kneaded the part where his jaw and his ear intersected and he lost all control.

"Oooooooooooo Pep, Pep, PEP!! Pep.... shit...."

"Your secret sensitive spot..." she murmured softly. "I remember it well."

Her words brought back treasured memories of one of their romantic trips.

_2010... mere months after my palladium poisoning and the whole Whiplash and the Stark expo fiasco... I surprised her with a weekend getaway... Venice revisited... we spent a day roaming around on a damn gondola and then the second day, when we planned to go to the beach... it had rained.... I was so pissed but Pepper... she surprised me... she put on this tiny emerald bikini and we spent the entire day in bed, making love and drinking champagne... touching each other until we knew every inch of each other's bodies...._

He opened his eyes. From the soft shimmering look in her blue eyes and her faint blush, he knew she was reliving the same memory. 

Then she moistened her lips and gave him such a slow sweet smile, that he was overcome with love.

_Shit, seeing her again like this... is so painful and yet so... wonderful... I missed her, I miss having her around... I miss being around her..._

There was a loud popping noise from the stove.

"The soup's done." 

She moved away from him, towards the stove. Tony sat back and watched her ladle out the soup into a bowl. Then she placed the steaming bowl before him.

"Drink up while it's hot."

Tony picked up the spoon. The fragrant aroma of meaty spiced chicken filled his nostrils. Her fingers gently stroked his hair, distracting him on another level.

He took a small sip and nearly moaned with pleasure. The soup tasted so damn good. Suddenly he felt ravenous. 

Ignoring its heat, he began to slurp up the soup noisily, desperate to eat as much of it as he could.

"Tony, how long have you been living here?"

He looked up from the bowl to find Pepper sitting on the opposite end of the table.

"Erm... 6 days... give or take..."

"Six days... and what have you been eating and drinking all these days?"

He didn't answer immediately because he was busy thinking of what to say.

"Tony...."

"Well... crackers and some dry biscuits.. drinking some milk. Coffee! Eh... let's see ... toast! Lots of toast and butter and.... and soup! This is good soup!" 

He took a deep slurp, appreciatively.

Pepper pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. She stared at him unwavering and he controlled the urge to fidget. Then she leaned back in her chair, folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. 

He gulped inwardly. 

_I know what that look means...._

"It is interesting, you say toast..." Pepper paused delicately. "Because the only bread I could find, is full of mold. The milk too. And there isn't any butter."

He looked down at his bowl quickly. "There's soup. This is good soup."

The corners of Pepper's lips quirked up slightly. "I bought the soup, Tony." 

He stared at her in confusion. 

"You... you bought it ... I could have sworn there was some in the big fridge back there." 

She shook her head gently and he shrugged, looking back down at his soup.

"Oh well... I know there are crackers... and I got some spare boxes in my room as well so..." 

"Tony... you have to eat well for your medicine to act. You can't live on crackers and coffee alone."

"Yeah well... I don't feel like eating much..." he muttered to his cooling soup. 

Ironically, the soup had reawakened his dormant appetite and now he wanted to eat more but was too stubborn to ask. 

He heard a soft ting and looked up. 

Pepper had placed a long metal chopstick-like pin on the table. She pulled another one out of her hair and in a swirl of brightness, her hair came undone. 

She raised her hands and gently shook out glorious reddish-gold cascading waves. He knew he was staring but he couldn't control himself. He loved Pepper's hair.

_Liquid fire... how I miss its streaming length spread out on my white pillow... against her porcelain skin, it always seemed like a fiery halo when she lay down... even now, I find some of its_ _fine strands on my bed..._

She combed out her hair with her fingers and then in a quick motion, tied her hair up in a neat ponytail. He didn't want to be caught staring, so he quickly looked back down at his soup. 

"Tony... is Secretary Ross bothering you? About the Accords, about Steve?" 

In her typically direct way, Pepper had chosen the very subject that he did not want to discuss. 

He noisily slurped up his soup, scraping his spoon across the bowl, drowning her out as much as he could. 

"All done!" He said with a loud smack and slowly stood up. He was feeling much better after the soup and the gentle towel massage. His nausea and chest pain had gone and his senses seemed much more focused.

Tony picked up the dish and took it over to the sink. He turned the tap and rinsed it out. A chair scrapped the floor and then he felt Pepper stand by his side, a little distance away from him.

"Tony... if Ross is harassing you, which I know he is, I've met the man and he was such a aggressive cheap bastard that I wanted to slap him."

He whipped his head around in shock.

"You met Ross?! When?! Why! Did he misbehave with you? Did he threaten you? What did he do? Tell me!" 

Tony knew that Pepper was a tough smart woman and could take care of herself very well. But the thought of Thaddeus Ross troubling her, made him see red.

"Oh, the usual... little lady heading a big tech conglomerate, you are much too pretty to be sitting behind a desk all day, why can't production be doubled, angry negotiations over contracts..." 

She shook her head. "Nothing I can't handle..."

He huffed in irritation and looked back down at the basin.

"Tony... talk to me please... I can get Ross off your back..."

He gave her a sideways glance. "How? He's the Secretary of State."

"That doesn't make him untouchable." Pepper said, a hard glint entering her clear blue eyes. "I have my ways. I have my friends. Ross thinks too much of himself and his Accords."

Tony stared down at the metal sink, emotions rolling through him. One part of him was so relieved at the offer of help. The other part, his ego and his pride, they wanted to hold on to anger, they wanted to refuse her help.

_She's been looking after you for so long. It was alright when she loved you, when you were a couple...now... now it's just pity... its just her pity after finding you here alone and broken... can't really blame her... what have you done right lately? Do you want her pity?_

He said quietly, "Thank you but I can fight my own battles. I will handle Ross on my own."

He hung the bowl on the wooden dish tree and wiped his hand on his shirt. He could sense Pepper looking at him but he was determined to ignore her.

"But you don't need to... You don't need to fight alone." 

He blinked, her words echoing loudly in his head.

"That's a lie..." he said bitterly, leaning against the sink for support. "I was alone in feeling the need for control and signing the Accords. I was alone in trying to bring the Winter Soldier to justice alive. Steve was protecting him and Ross wanted him dead. I was alone when my best friend fell from the sky and I couldn't catch him in time... and I was alone when I found myself in Siberia, trying to reason with Steve and get him to come back... the camaraderie of the Avengers gave me a fake sense of security, a sense that I belonged to a team... but it was all a lie... I won't make the same mistake again."

For a moment, there was pin-drop silence. He hesitantly took a deep breath and slowly let it out. There was no pain. 

Then he felt Pepper's soft fingers on his hand on his arm and her warm body move close to his.

"James is going to get better, Tony... he's strong, he will get through this... and... I know..." she paused.

He snuck a sideways glance at her through his lashes.

Pepper swallowed hard and lowered her lashes. "I know you've been let down by a lot of people... but... for it's worth ... I'm still on your side. I want... I want to help you..."

He tensed and felt her fingers flutter on his. Tony raised his head and looked at Pepper. Her bright eyes gazed into his, so clear and blue with that familiar soft look of support. 

He had seen that look many times before, when he had bullied her into changing his Arc for the first time, the night before his first Avengers mission when she had left him because he had homework, when he had admitted his PTSD from New York, too many times to count. 

_Pepper... you have always taken such good care of me... always offered me your support, your comfort, your strength... but... I know you are doing this out of some lingering sense of obligation... you are so used to taking care of me... that you can't stop... even though you should... _

Her thumb rubbed across his knuckles in a very familiar gesture. 

He shook his head and said gruffly, "I can manage without you. Besides..." he moved his hand out of her grasp. "You aren't going to be staying long..."

Her eyes flickered with hurt, so he turned away from her and moved away.

"You have a company to run, charities to supervise, board members to placate, meetings to attend... busy busy Pepper..."

"I ran the company and helped you before..." she muttered tensely and he turned to look back at her.

"Yeah but that was different!" He said airily with a fake smile plastered on his face. "We were together then! Couples help each other out!"

Pepper lowered her gaze and then looked back up at him. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. 

Then she said softly, "Friends help each other out too... we may not be together anymore but I will always be your friend..." 

He felt as if he had once again been hit in the chest with the vibranium shield. Her words filled him with hope but then he held on to his resolve to push her away. 

"Supposedly I have a lot of friends... but take a look around... do you see any of them here?" 

A flash of anger sparked in her blue eyes. Pepper tightened her jaw. "I am not Steve, Tony... and I am here!"

"Yeah but for long?" He said bitterly. "You made it very clear when you left, that you wanted a break from all this... from me! All this taking care off and worrying and thinking about me! Then why are you here now! I didn't call you!" 

"I never said I wanted a break from you!" She said tightly, her cheeks flushed. "I said you were going to get yourself killed because you didn't bother about your own health! And I don't want to see you die!"

"You did the right thing by leaving!" He yelled angrily. "I nearly died in Siberia! Next time, I'm not going to be so lucky! If you want to be spared from a lot of pain, don't stick around! Leave me alone!"

He was filled with grief and anger. The aching pain in his chest resumed. He couldn't bear to look at her, so he walked out of the kitchen. 

"Tony!" She called out but he ignored her and determinedly climbed the stairs, ignoring the pain searing through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's the angst?


	4. Only You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only You by The Platters

The left gauntlet of his suit lay before him, its metallic cover unscrewed. Tony had his screwdriver in his good hand. He was supposed to be tightening his glove's inner gears. 

But instead, he found himself staring out of the study's window and thinking about Pepper. 

"Why did I say all that? To her... why did I say... all that... I could have just said no. No, I don't need your help! No, I can manage on my own! Why..." he exhaled heavily. "Why did I try to hurt her with my words?" 

He looked down at the screwdriver in his hand. 

"Maybe I wanted to see if I can make her hurt... the way I do inside...fuck... she's... she's still the same... so fresh and good and so... so damn normal..." 

Then something deep within him, whispered insidiously, _Maybe she seems so put together because she's met someone else...she's moved on..._

A cold trickle of sweat dripped down his spine, sending a chill ricocheting through him.

"Pepper with another man... my Pepper..."

_Ah but she isn't yours anymore, is she... she's someone else's girlfriend..._

"You don't know that!" He whispered heatedly, clenching his fists. "She... she can't be with someone else!"

But suddenly, he saw Pepper's halo of fiery delicate hair strewn across a white pillow and another man, a stranger, lying beside her, his face buried in the fragrant reddish-gold mass.

His chest tightened and he felt the dull aching pain return. 

"It can't be... fuck! Why am I thinking so much about Pepper? She's gone, we are over! I wish she had never come here in the first place!"

He placed his hand on his Arc scar and closed his eyes, willing away the pain. 

"I have got to clear my mind. Forget about Pepper! Let her live her life the way she wants! I need to fix my glove!"

Tony sat back down and resolutely lifted his screwdriver, aiming at the center-most gear in his gauntlet. For 15 minutes, he did not look left or right, he just focused on the glove. 

Then he looked up.

"It's too damn quiet in here... how about some music? Good idea, Tony!"

Since his phone was switched off and he didn't have a computer, he had no choice but to use his father's well-preserved gramophone and listen to his limited collection of fifties music. 

Tony leaned sideways and gently nudged the gramophone, which jolted the needle. It swung into place and a soft simple melody filled the room. 

Then a rich melodic voice began to croon, 

"_Only you can make all this world seem right_

_ Only you can make the darkness bright _

_ Only you and you alone can thrill me like you do _

_And fill my heart with love for only you..._"

"Oh crap, now even the music's about Pepper... well... there isn't anything else to listen to... I'll just have to bear it..."

He resumed his work, humming along with the soulful tune. Then a faint appetizing aroma tickled his nostrils. He put the screwdriver down and sniffed.

"That smells like food..."

He stood up and walked to the door. The aroma grew stronger and he took a deep breath.

"Is that... are those... are those hot dogs I smell?!" 

He followed his nose and it led him to the kitchen. He paused in the hallway. 

_So... Pepper is cooking something... and it smells like hot dogs... duh... so now that I know what it is, I should leave her alone and get back to work..._

But his stomach growled angrily with hunger, reminding him that he hadn't eaten anything but crackers for the last 6 days and the sausages smelt damn good. 

So he slowly crept into the kitchen. Pepper was standing by the stove, her back to him. She was gently stirring something.

He could see the sausages sizzling on a pan. But what caught his eye, were the dark purple Grapico cans on the table. 

Tony couldn't remember the last time he had a cold soda. His mouth filled with saliva at the thought of the rich fruity flavor on his tongue.

Before he even realized what he was down, he was at the table and reaching for a can. 

He closed his fingers around one and then to his dismay, it was plucked out of his grasp.

"Not so fast, cowboy." Pepper said firmly, holding the can at a distance. "You get to have soda only after you eat something."

"But Pepper!! I am so thirsty!"

"You know the rules, Stark. No soda on an empty stomach."

She picked up the other can as well and placed them both on the shelf by the stove. Then she resumed her stirring.

Tony crossed his arms over his chest and grumbled under his breath, even though he knew it was no use grumbling. As a couple, Pepper had insisted on fixed eating times and disciplined eating habits such as no snacking before dinner.

As if she knew what he was thinking, she murmured, "Just a little while longer, Tony. The pasta is nearly ready."

He stared at her. "Pasta?"

"Yes." Pepper said with a sideways glance at him. "I'm making spaghetti with cheese and cut up hot dogs on the side."

"My favorite meal!" He whispered in awe. His stomach churned violently in agreement.

"I know. Wait, the hot dogs are done." 

With one hand still stirring, she quickly shucked the hot dogs off the pan and onto a plate, with her other hand. Then she placed the plate on the table. 

He nearly drooled as he studied the juicy curved pieces of greasy browned meat. 

"Go ahead, have one." She said softly.

He stared at the sausages, their meaty smoky deliciousness filling his senses. But there was a niggling doubt in his mind, so he tore his eyes away from the food and looked up at her.

"Why are you doing this, Pepper?"

She tilted her head to one side. 

"Because it is customary for humans to consume some sustenance at decent intervals during the day. I know you haven't been eating when you should, Tony. And I know you are hungry but you just won't admit it." 

"I am so not..." he muttered defiantly. But his stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, mocking his defiance.

Pepper giggled and turned back to the stove. She turned off the fire and picked up the pot of spaghetti. Then she moved sideways to the sink, to drain the pasta water.

He watched her neatly divide the pasta between two plates and then sprinkle a liberal amount of cheese on one plate.

She lifted the plates and set the cheesy pasta down before him.

"You remembered... you made it just the way I like it..." he whispered, staring with love at the steaming golden spaghetti, beautifully crowned with melting orangish yellow cheddar.

"It's simple... spaghetti made al dente with a little bit of olive oil and salt. Coat generously with cheese..." Her eyes twinkled at him as her lips curved into a gentle smile.

He felt a strange painful wave of emotion fill his being. 

_She still remembers... the way I like my pasta..._

To hide his feelings, he lowered his gaze and quickly shoved a spoonful of spaghetti into his mouth. Which was a mistake since it was boiling hot.

"Mwumppph!" 

"Here! Have a sip of this!" 

She handed him a glass of soda and he quickly took a long swig. The soda tasted just as good as he remembered, cold and refreshing. 

Tony then began to eat with gusto. He slurped up the pasta in a matter of seconds, chewing and relishing the gooey cheesiness and then scarfed down 3 hot dogs before belatedly remembering he wasn't alone.

Pepper was sitting beside him, daintily eating a much smaller plate of spaghetti. 

He mentally counted the remaining hot dogs and then pushed the plate towards her.

"It's alright, Tony. I made them all for you. I am not that hungry."

He had just taken a large bite and spoke around a mouthful of sausage. "Wait... wait... you made all this food... just for me?"

She nodded with a smile.

"Why?!" 

For a fleeting moment, her eyes flickered with some unreadable emotion and then she lowered her lashes.

"Well, it was the least I could do... to... to... repay you for your hospitality." 

Tony didn't know what to think or say, so he looked down at his plate.

_She cooked for me... does this mean... she still cares about me... _

_The cheese has gone to your head, you fool... didn't you hear what she said... she said she did it to pay you back for letting her in from the cold!_

He felt so content from the good meal, that he decided to ignore the dark whispered thought. So he sat back and relaxed.

"Thank you. That was delicious... all of it..." 

He took a sip of his soda and smacked his lips appreciatively. "And you got my favorite soda too..." 

"I am glad you liked the food...." She set down her fork and reached for his plate. 

"No way, Potts..." He stood up and picked up her plate and his in one hand. "I'll take care of these. You should rest, you've been on your feet, ever since you got here."

Tony placed both the dishes in the sink and then rinsed them out with water. For the first time in a long time, he felt normal, he felt healthy and strong. 

He squeezed out some dish-washing liquid on the scrubber and began to wash the plates. Pepper came to stand by his side. 

"Tony, let me-"

"Pep, it's okay, I like washing dishes... you know that's all I am good for, in the kitchen. Aside from repairing things. And... it's been a while since I had a home-cooked meal. Since you've been gone, all I do is order Chinese and eat it in the basement or pick up cheeseburgers and go to Henshaw Lookout."

He said it and then wondered why he said it but he felt a yawn coming and covered his mouth with his hand.

"Why don't you hire a cook?" She murmured. "You shouldn't eat takeout all the time."

Without thinking, from somewhere deep within him, the words just spilled out.

"I can't... I can't do that! That's... it's your kitchen, Pep! I can't have someone else cooking in your kitchen! I won't! Your pots and pans and... even your apron is still there...hanging by the fridge!" 

Pepper just looked at him quietly, her blue eyes softly shimmering as they gazed into his. He couldn't look away. 

"It's still your kitchen, Potts..."

"You could..." she paused. "You could get rid of everything... that... that seems mine. Redo the kitchen. Paint it. Throw everything out."

That pissed him off. He didn't even think about it, he just mutinously started shaking his head. His good mood was destroyed. He just wanted to get away. 

_Throw it all out! How! How could she even say that! Those are our things, in our home..._

He rinsed the soap off the dishes and then quickly placed them on the rack. Then he roughly rubbed his wet hand on his shirt, keeping his head low, she couldn't see his face.

_It was her home... now it's just your home... just your home... do what you want with the stuff in it... it does not matter to her anymore... nothing matters..._

There was a hard painful lump in his throat and he swallowed hard, desperately trying to get rid of it. Then he felt soft warm fingers clasp his arm, sending tingles through his flesh, so he jerked sideways quickly.

"Please... please don't touch me..." he whispered in anguish, looking into her wide blue eyes. 

Pepper bit her lip so hard, her teeth left marks in the soft pink flesh. 

"Alright... I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." 

"Yeah... ok... whatever..." he turned around and dug his hands into his pockets. "So what time are you leaving?"

"I called my people. The chopper should be here in half an hour." She murmured, her eyes downcast.

"Good. I'm going back to the study...." he found himself yawning again. 

All of a sudden, Tony was very tired. His eyes just wanted to close and he blinked them hard, trying to focus.

Pepper was looking at him with concern.

"Tony..."

"It's nothing, it's all good..." He started walking but oddly his steps felt slow and clumsy.

Pepper was right behind him. 

"Maybe you should get some rest, Tony...you seem ve-"

"No!" He spat out vehemently. "I don't need rest... No way!"

He was in the doorway, when he heard her ask softly, "Why ever not?" 

Tony turned on the spot, dazedly. His head felt so heavy on his shoulders, it felt like such an effort to keep it upright.

"Can't sleep... maybe I am afraid..." 

The words came out of nowhere and he blinked in confusion. 

"Afraid of what?" To his surprise, Pepper suddenly was right by his side. 

"Dreams... bad dreams..." he shook his head to clear it of the sudden haziness. "I don't know... I don't know... I'm scared..." he yawned loudly, his frame trembling with the effort as waves of tiredness crashed through him.

"Tell me what's the matter, Tony..." Her voice was so soft and comforting. 

He blinked and then the room swayed slightly in place. 

"What if I fall asleep..." he whispered to the dim room. "And never wake up..."

"Tony, that's not going to happen." Pepper's firm clear voice rang in his ears and he focused on her face. 

Her eyes were so blue and wide, he wanted to drown in them, in their familiar loving embrace. In the fading in, fading out, confusing landscape of fatigue, she seemed to be the only thing that made sense. 

"I want to die on my feet, Pep..." He whispered hoarsely, his eyes fluttering close. "Not on a bed... staring up at the ceiling, Rhodey told me that... Rhodey... can you imagine, Rhodey in a bed, broken... a great iron soldier fell from the sky... how do I put him back together again..."

"Tony, it's alright. I am here."

He leaned back blindly and felt the hard wooden frame of the doorway pushing against his flesh. Then he opened his eyes. Now the entire room was spinning around him but he was too tired to run.

"Im... so sleepy... so tired... if I sleep... I know I..." His tongue felt so heavy in his mouth and his head lolled forward weightlessly. "I know I won't wake up..."

"Please don't talk like that..." 

Soft warm fingers brushed his forehead, pushing his hair tenderly away from his face. 

He used his last vestige of strength and forced his eyes open. Pepper's face swam before his eyes, their sapphire blueness shining wet with unshed tears. 

Oddly, he could hear the tune of "Only You" in his head, his heart throbbing in time to the music.

Her hand cupped his jaw, stroking his skin with her thumb. He was powerless now and so he finally let go of his anger and leaned into the caress, closing his eyes. 

"What would I do without you?" Her voice whispered tearfully. 

"You could always.. find another... man in a tin can..." He whispered tiredly. 

"No..." He heard her say from far far away, through the enveloping welcome darkness. "It is only you that has my heart, Tony, only you...now and forever..."

'Only you, Tony...' the words echoed loudly in his head, in time to the beat of the song. He felt his spine go limp with slumber and then surrendered himself to nothingness. 


	5. Dream a Little Dream of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dream a Little Dream of Me by Doris Day

_Cold, so bitterly cold, the ice had seeped into his bones through his suit. He was lying on the hard glacial floor. There was something, someone sitting on his chest, a heavy warm weight. He looked up into ice blue eyes. _

_"Take your shield back, Stark!"_

_The gleaming semi-circle edge of the huge vibranium shield filled his vision. He raised his hands to stop its slow steady descent but it was of no use. _

_The shield crashed into his chest, blinding him with white-hot pain, searing through his body, slicing through his chest. _

_Even through the pain, he could feel every bone in his chest, shatter and splinter with the force of the blow. His back broke with a loud crack, sending spasms of pain racing through him. _

_But all he could see, was the shining blue and red edge of the shield. _

_Then the pressure in his chest increased unbearably. Steve pushed the shield down, further into him, cutting into his lungs and he screamed._

Tony sat up, clutching his chest. There was a loud drumming noise in his ears. His Arc scar throbbed angrily with a burning ache that ricocheted through his flesh. At the same time, he felt horribly cold, his very bones icy and stiff.

"Shield... Steve... where... what..."

"Tony... Tony... its alright. It was just a dream."

Pepper's words cut through the fog of pain. He felt her soft hands moving over his chest, soothing him with her touch. 

"Does this hurt? When I touch you?"

Tony blinked hard to clear his hazy vision. She seemed so surreal, an auburn angel sitting by him with her long hair flowing around her shoulders and her blue eyes filled with tenderness.

"Pep..." he whispered in shock, blindly clutching her hand. "You... you are still here?"

"Yes, honey..." she squeezed his fingers. "I am not going anywhere... now tell me where it hurts."

Tony swallowed and closed his eyes, then opened them. 

_She's here .... next to me... in..._

He looked around. He was in an unfamiliar lime-green room with a single window, empty walls and nothing but a rustic wooden cupboard in one corner. 

"Where am I?" 

"This is a guest bedroom on the first floor. The master bedroom was too dusty."

"First floor?!" Now he was really confused. "Wait... what happened to me? How did I get here?"

"That's not important right now, honey. Are you alright?" 

"I... Steve... the shield... Siberia..." He was suddenly fearful of being attacked. "It felt so real..."

"Tony, look at me." 

He did as she said, gazing deep into shimmering sapphire blue eyes, so deep and comfortingly familiar, with their golden specks. 

"It was just a dream, honey..." Pepper whispered, her warm fingers gently patting his Arc scar. "You are perfectly safe now. Trust me."

"Trust me..." the words echoed loudly in his head. He nodded dumbly, too scared and cold to argue. He wrapped his arm around his chest, trying to chase away the cold.

"Are you feeling cold? Here, take this." 

She pulled his blanket up to his chest. 

"Lie down, it is okay... nothing is going to hurt you now."

He let her help him lie down on the soft bed. 

The cold was everywhere, in his blood, in his flesh, chilling his lungs, freezing his bones. He lay back and took a deep breath, trying to shake the ice from his chest. 

"Tony, what's the matter?" Pepper said softly by his side. 

"So cold... I feel so cold... I don't know why... the dream... Siberia..." 

He couldn't even talk properly, his lips were nearly frozen. 

"Let me help you." 

She shifted and he felt a bare soft leg slip over his frozen thighs, its heat warming his icy flesh slowly.

Then Pepper curled up into his side, resting her head against his shoulder, wrapping her arm across his chest. 

"Is that better?"

He could feel her warm body heat seeping into his flesh, chasing away the cold. 

"More... I need more..." 

"Okay, I'll-"

He didn't wait for her to finish, he quickly turned onto his side, away from her. 

"Come closer please..." he whispered, hoping, praying she wouldn't refuse.

For a long moment, nothing happened and Tony felt deeply ashamed.

_The fuck... I can't ask her to do that... we aren't together anymore... it's inappropriate... fuck, why did I say anything?_

Then to his joy, he felt Pepper's soft body press against his back, branding his flesh with her body heat. Her bare leg slipped between his legs, warming his flesh through his pajamas. Her breath tickled the back of his neck. 

"Is this okay?" She asked softly, a strange note of hesitancy in her voice. 

He closed his eyes, feeling a sense of safety and comfort that he hadn't felt in months. 

"It's perfect..."

"Good..." her hand came around his shoulder, to rest on his chest. "Go to sleep, Tony..." 

He yawned, the feelings of drowsiness returning. But unlike the last time, he wasn't afraid. So he happily fell into slumber's soft embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone says anything bad about Pepper walking away from Tony in IM3 when he had the bad dream, I will come after you.  
This is an entirely different situation. This time, his suit isn't attacking her.


	6. Put Your Head On My Shoulder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Put Your Head On My Shoulder by Paul Anka

Strange voices drifted in and out of his hearing. He could hear them, they were far away, so he couldn't make out what they were saying but they were talking a lot. 

Tony blinked himself awake and turned onto his back, staring up at the lime-green ceiling. He could now clearly hear the voices, so he sat up carefully. Then he noticed the rumpled mattress and bed-sheet by his side. 

"Pepper's gone..." 

Deep sadness rushed through him. He gently placed his palm on the spot where she was sleeping. It was still warm and soft. 

"So it wasn't a dream... she was here, sleeping next to me... oh well, I knew she had to go..." 

Then he realized something. 

"Wait, if she's gone, who is talking?"

He slowly stood up and slipped out of the room. 

"The voices... they are coming from downstairs."

So he slowly crept down the stairs, mindful of the creaking floorboards. 

The voices were coming from the main hall. So he stayed close to the corridor wall and carefully walked towards the hall, trying not to make a sound. 

He raised his arm, realized he wasn't wearing his gauntlet and peered around the corner. But there was no one there. 

He could see a laptop on an ornate wooden table. It was playing a live recording or video of some sorts. He could see different faces appear and disappear as the voices continued to talk.

"Tony..." he heard his name and turned quickly, arm raised defensively.

Much to his shock, Pepper stood by the stairs.

She was wearing his faded Iron Maiden t-shirt and tiny purple polka dotted lady briefs that left her long lean legs completely bare.

She looked so young and innocent with her fresh clean face, her open hair and cute little purple socks on her feet.

"Why did you wake up?" She walked quickly towards him. "Is the volume too loud?"

He lifted his cast to rub his eyes in disbelief.

"Was it another bad dream?" She asked worriedly. "Talk to me, Tony..."

He could hear the soulful tune and the words, 'Only You' echo in his head, lending a dream-like quality to her appearance.

_The heavenly scent of her, her beautiful blue eyes. They all seem... so real. But... but I've had dreams like this before... and she always disappears in the end... this isn't real..._

He raised his hand and delicately, carefully, felt a fine strand of reddish gold hair between his fingertips.

_It feels like hair..._

Then she caught his hand and placed it on her cheek. He rubbed his thumb gently across petal soft, smooth warm skin and watched her blue eyes darken.

"You stayed..." he mumbled, confused.

"Of course I did."

"But... but..." he tried to remember. "But you had to be somewhere..."

"The conference. Yes, I am attending it remotely."

Tony was filled with multiple emotions. He was confused why she hadn't left and why she had stayed. But he was so so happy that she had.

"Am I asleep?"

"You were... why did you wake up?" She murmured, gently stroking his hair.

Shivers of sensation raced through him as her fingers caressed his scalp slowly. Then she moved them down to his ear and he squirmed.

"I! I... wait!" Then it came to him. "You were in bed with me!"

Pepper giggled. "Yes, I was. We were cuddling and you fell asleep..."

He cupped both her cheeks tenderly and touched his forehead lightly to hers.

"Come back to bed please... please Pepper..." he whispered hoarsely.

The smell of vanilla was so enticing, that he had to take a deep breath. His chest expanded, her sensuous curves pressed up tightly against his flesh. 

He thought he could feel her nipples through her thin shirt. He knew she could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

Their faces were so close, his nose lightly brushing hers, their lips nearly touching. Her long lashes rested on her cheek as her breath mingled with his.

_This is both heaven... and hell. Pepper so close to me... after so damn long... I want to kiss her so badly but I don't know... what if I am making her uncomfortable... what if she doesn't want this... I should step back... shouldn't be so close..._

"Pep..." he murmured but then her arms closed around his waist, moving her body closer to his.

Time slowed to a standstill. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears but he didn't say a word, he didn't want to disturb the beautiful moment.

Her fingers slowly moved across his back, holding him to her. She took a deep breath and this time, he definitely felt her erect nipples rub against his chest.

"Weird?" Pepper whispered, with an odd note in her voice.

He couldn't help but smile.

"No Potts... definitely not weird..."

She swayed in place slowly and he moved too. The tune grew louder in his head, lending a soft melody to their situation. He moved his good hand around her neck, carefully caressing her soft wavy mass of hair.

She moaned out his name, pressing herself even tighter against him.

Her face nuzzled his and he whispered without thinking, "This is such a beautiful dream.. I don't ever want to wake up."

She remained silent, making a cold wave of fear trickle down his spine.

Then he felt her sinfully soft lips brush his. She whispered against his mouth, "Neither do I, Tony... Neither do I..."

His Arc and heart jerked painfully to life. He carefully wound his fingers into her hair and gently tilted her face, so that he could kiss her.

Her lips parted and her little pink tongue moistened them. He growled a little in his throat and lowered his lips.

And then someone said loudly, "Miss Potts, what do you think?"

Tony nearly jumped out of his skin with fright.

"The conference! The camera!"

He belatedly remembered how Pepper was dressed and quickly turned, making sure to shield her with his body.

"Tony!" She said giggling. "They can't see us, silly!"

He stared suspiciously at the laptop. A chubby Santa-like man with a long white beard, beamed beatifically on the screen.

"Miss Potts!" He said in a booming voice that made Tony wince. "Are you still on the line?"

He looked back at Pepper who tapped her ear.

"Yes Mr. Bowjon. I am still on the call."

Tony chuckled at the name and Pepper widened her eyes in warning but she was smiling widely. 

"We just wanted to hear your thoughts on the carbon filter law."

"Thank you, Sir." Pepper stepped around him quickly and moved towards the laptop. "Here's what I think."

Tony couldn't understand a word she was saying but he was so impressed.

_How did she manage to pick up the flow of conversation so quickly? She was with me all this time._

Pepper straightened, tapped her earphone and came back to him with a soft smile. 

"I'm sorry, I guess I was so sleepy, I just didn't think.." he murmured. "I thought you had gone.. I..." 

Her hands cupped his cheeks lovingly. 

"I'm not going anywhere, honey." She said softly, her big blue eyes searching his. "Go back to bed. You need to rest."

She held the back of her palm tenderly against his forehead. 

"You don't have a fever. I'm so relieved! But you still need to rest."

"I am not going back to bed without you." He touched his forehead to hers and nuzzled her face. 

"Can I please stay here? With you? I'll be quiet, I won't disturb you. I promise."

Her lips curved against his skin. "I'll hold you to that promise, Mister Stark." She whispered, teasingly.

He found himself smiling. "I'll be quiet, Potts. I promise."

"Okay. Come here." 

She took his hand and led him to a comfortable long sofa that faced the table. He sat down, while she turned the laptop to face them.

Pepper sat down beside him. "Are you comfortable? Are you warm enough?"

"Definitely not cold." He said with a smirk. He was nicely sandwiched between the plushy arm rest of the sofa and Pepper's soft warm side. 

"Hmmm... here..." she draped her thick coat over his shoulders and patted it down.

The volume of voices on the screen increased and Tony glanced at it quickly. 

"Erm, Potts, something seems to be going on." 

"They argue from time to time." She said absently as she arranged the coat on his shoulders, to her satisfaction. 

The cozy warmth of the sofa and Pepper beside him, filled him with a deep sense of contentment and peace. 

Much to his own surprise, he yawned. Sleep filled his being and he blinked hard to stay awake. His head lolled about on his shoulders.

Then Pepper's hand squeezed his and he leaned sideways.

"Rest your head on my shoulders, Tony..." 

"Too heavy..." he mumbled sleepily, trying to keep himself upright. 

"No, it isn't." Her hand looped around his neck and gently guided his head sideways to fall on her shoulder. 

The darkness and the comforting lily-scented softness of Pepper's neck, her hair grazing his face like a wispy curtain, made him smile.

"This feels so good... you feel so good..." he whispered sleepily, against her skin. He felt a shiver ripple through her body and then her fingers closed over his hand.

"Go to sleep, Tony."

"I will..." he closed his eyes. "I will sleep... now that you are here." 


	7. My Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My Prayer by the Platters  
Yes, I know a lot of the songs are by The Platters but their music really encouraged my angsty spirit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in the middle.

He was adrift in a peaceful sea of deep slumber. For once, the darkness wasn't frightening, for once there were no nightmares, for once there was only peace and comfort. 

He was securely spooned by something warm and soft and so achingly familiar. It reached every part of him: his back, his hips, his legs, toes pressing against his heels, arms wrapped around his waist, a soft face pressed against his neck. 

Then the warmth shifted and disappeared but he was still so sleepy, that he didn't have the strength to turn and find it. 

The peaceful silence prevailed for another five minutes. Then his ears pricked up as someone started sniffing loudly. He felt the bed shake and shift. 

He recognized the sound of muffled sobs and that's what made him blink his eyes open. 

Tony realized he was once again in bed, facing its edge that overlooked the window. His blanket was wrapped tightly around his body from head to toe but something told him that wasn't the source of the comforting warmth. 

_Why am I back in bed... wait a minute... how am I back in bed? I remember going downstairs and...._

Then he heard another soft sob, so he slowly turned onto his back. 

He could see Pepper sitting at the other edge of the bed, her back to him. Her head was lowered in her hands and her shoulders shook quietly.

_Pepper... is she crying?_

Tony swung his legs out of the bed and stood up so quickly, that his head spun. He clutched the bed to steady himself.

"Pepper, what is it? What happened!" He hobbled over to the other side of the bed. 

She lifted her head and looked at him mutely. The sadness in her moist blue eyes, swollen with unshed tears, made his heart spasm painfully. Her nose was red and streaks of her tears ran down her face. 

"Tony..." she gulped, her voice low and muffled. "Tony, I am sorry, I shouldn't have woken you up, go back to sleep."

"Pep, why are you crying?" He sat down beside her and clutched her hand. "Honey, what happened? What's wrong?" 

"It's nothing..." she said with a deep sniff. "It's nothing, really..."

"Pepper, please..." Panic was swarming through him, he needed to know why she was so upset. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's just..." she hiccuped and lowered her head. Her wavy hair fell around her face like a reddish-gold curtain. She whispered so softly, he had to strain to hear her.

"I was just thinking... and I got so scared... so afraid... I came so close..." 

"Afraid?" He wound his fingers into hers and squeezed them gently. "Of what? What's frightening you? I'll protect you, Pep!" 

Her blue eyes peered at him through her curtain of hair and then she leaned sideways, to rest her head on his shoulder. 

"Tony..." she murmured, her voice full of anguish. "I was just thinking about... about you... and how close... how close I came to losing you..."

He sat absolutely stiff and straight, unable to believe what he was hearing. She inched closer to him, pressing her soft side against his arm. 

"You could have died... out there... you could have died in Siberia... Steve!" He felt her fingers tense violently in his. "Steve could have murdered you in cold blood! You could have died, Tony..." 

"But I didn't, Pep... I'm fine." 

"Fine!" She raised her head to look at him. Her sapphire-blue eyes burned with a passionate light. He couldn't look away. 

"You aren't fine, Tony! You are in so much pain and your bruises!" 

She placed her hand gently on his Arc scar and every nerve in his being reacted with happiness. 

"This entire part..." Pepper said softly, lowering her eyes to his chest. "Is nearly black with clotted blood... it must hurt you so much... and your eye..." she raised her warm hand to tenderly touch his left eye. 

"And your legs and your ribs, Tony, you are covered in bruises and blood clots! But yet... you... you put on this brave face, smiling through the pain, not showing anyone how much you are hurting inside!"

"I just got my ass handed to me..." he said, uncomfortable by how much she had noticed. 

She cupped his jaw and sighed, her eyes fluttering close and then opening. Then she swallowed hard as if her next words pained her. 

"You really came close, Tony... close to dying.... I would never have seen you again... I would have lost you... how would I have been able to bear that... I can't... I can't lose you Tony..." 

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. He could feel her wet warm tears against his skin, her raspy short heaving breaths as she cried bitterly. 

Tony was filled with conflicting emotions. 

_What do I do? What do I do! Let her cry? Comfort her? _

"Pep..." With his good hand, he awkwardly tried to pat her hair. "Pep, please, please honey." 

He didn't even know what he was pleading for. His own throat had closed up with emotion. 

"Pepper..." he said throatily and then heard her sniff. 

"When I heard..." she murmured softly against his throat, "When I heard about Siberia... I thought I had lost you... and I... my last words to you... were of anger, that's what kept going through my head! We had parted so angrily, the last words I said to you, were so angry! Why! Why did I do that!"

Tony kept absolutely quiet. He realized that Pepper needed to let things out. So he just gently stroked her hair.

She took another deep hiccuping breath. 

"I've been keeping it inside for so long... I can't really talk to anyone... I don't have anyone to talk to after you went... it hurts... it hurts so much... worrying about you, thinking about you constantly, wondering if you are okay, if you are alive, will you survive your next mission... what do I do if... if you don't. See I thought... I thought I could leave you and I would stop caring... but... but I didn't... it just got worse, I think about you so much... I love you, Tony, even though it hurts me so much because I'm so scared I am going to lose you... but I can't stop loving you, Tony..."

Her words echoed loudly in his head, over and over again, even louder than his heartbeat thrumming in his ears. 

"You still... love me?" He whispered dumbly.

"Of course I do, Tony..." Pepper kissed his throat and lifted her head to look into his eyes. "I never stopped loving you... and I never will..."

He felt happiness fill every fiber of his being, rendering him speechless. 

She pushed his hair off his brow softly. 

"I know it sounds confusing... and its confusing to me as well. I wanted to stop worrying about you, I thought leaving you would end that worry... but... but it just didn't... and I missed you. So much." 

"But... but... you never called or messaged..." he stammered out. "I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with me..."

"Because you were so angry, Tony!" She said softly. "So angry and hurt and I... you know.... I was there when you gave your presentation at MIT. On the B.A.R.F machine. I saw you walk off the stage, the moment my name was announced on the prompter... you were still so angry...I didn't want to give you any more grief, I had done enough to hurt you.... so I thought.... I thought leaving you alone was for the best." 

"I thought you didn't care..." 

"No honey... I couldn't stop caring..." she stroked his forehead. "And when I learnt about Siberia... how Steve and his friend attacked you and you were so grievously injured.... I knew I had to see you, I had to see you for my own sanity." 

She cupped his cheek, rubbing her finger against his skin. He closed his eyes and leaned into the caress. 

"Especially when.... when I heard that you discharged yourself from the hospital! Hiding out here! All alone! Refusing to take your medicine or sleep! Eating crackers instead of food!" 

Tony blinked. Something in that sentence didn't seem right. 

"Wait... wait... how do you know I left the hospital early? Or that I refused to take my medicine... wait a minute..." he straightened. "I didn't tell Rhodey all that!" 

Pepper lowered her gaze and then looked back up at him again. She sighed softly.

"I... I guess it's time for me to come clean... I... I didn't speak to James. I knew you were staying here because Friday sent me the coordinates." 

"Friday?! But I muted Friday! She was nagging me too much! How did she contact you? She can't do that!" 

"She can't do that through your channel... " 

Pepper's lips curved slowly. "You muted your channel with her... I ... I have my own channel with Friday." 

He was shocked, confused and awed all at the same time. 

"You... you have your own channel? How? How? When you... left, I removed you from all our security protocols! You can't access Friday! This is a breach!"

"I know I overstepped but... I knew you would cut off all contact, so before leaving, I created a private protocol with Friday, allowing me to access her through a VPN. And she helped me by hiding this private protocol from your network monitoring tools... I think using a masking IP or something like that." 

Tony really didn't know what to say. He was overcome with emotion. 

_Pepper using ninja network tactics to spy on me... damn ...I am so turned on right now.... but... shit... she actually cared that much... to do all that... to keep an eye on me..._

As if she had heard him, Pepper said softly, "I know I shouldn't have that... Friday is your AI. But I knew you'd shut yourself off from me... and I... I couldn't bear that... I needed to know you were okay, I needed to know how you were doing... especially in situations like this... where... Tony! You... you weren't sleeping or eating!" 

Suddenly, she turned angry and clenched her fist around the collar of his shirt. 

"You needed care but you were too stubborn to ask for it and when you turned off Friday, I just had to come! I couldn't let you suffer alone out here! I You weren't taking care of yourself and you think I don't care, well, Mr. Stark, you are so damn wrong, alright! I care a lot and I couldn't I won't let you kill yourself slowly through pure negligence!"

She was still ranting but his heart overflowed with love and he slowly leaned forward and touched his lips to her moving ones. Her breath caught in her throat but she closed her eyes and kissed him back. 

Her soft warm lips felt so good against his but he wanted more, he was thirsty for so much more. 

So he wrapped his good arm around her waist and pulled her body against his, deepening the kiss. She tasted like vanilla and salty tears, sunlight and Pepper. 

The cold, the aching pain, the sorrow, they all seeped away. Her tongue teased his playfully and he growled low in his throat. 

He felt her fingers wind in his hair, tugging him lightly and he tilted his head, to claim even more of her honeyed soft mouth. 

Then Tony lay back down, gently pulling her on top of him. Her luscious supple curves rubbed against him teasingly. 

She straddled his waist and raised herself on her arms, keeping her weight off him but never letting go of his mouth. 

He lowered his good hand down her back and slipped it under her thin t-shirt, feeling warm, satiny smooth skin in the hollow of her back.

She shifted and he immediately moved his hand, thinking he had gone too far but without leaving his lips, she caught his hand and placed it on her pert round backside. 

He splayed his fingers over the soft curved flesh and squeezed hard. 

Pepper moaned against his mouth and he cupped her hard, thrusting his hips up to rub his cock against her soft clingy briefs. 

She lifted her mouth from his, panting hard and stared down at him. Her lips were so swollen and pink from his kisses, her cheeks flushed with arousal and her eyes, so wide and luminously blue, drugged with sensual abandon. 

He gave her a silly grin and moved his fingers into her briefs, to graze her inner thigh. 

She trembled hard, so he kept stroking her silky flesh with his finger tips. Then he moved them further to rub her pussy and she bit down on her lip hard, shivering against him as he continued his slow stroking.

"Pepper, you are so beautiful... I never thought I'd get to see you again like this... please... please let me love you..."

"Toonnnyyy..." she said throatily, "Yes..."

He traced the outline of her pussy with the tips of his fingers and then slowly pushed one into her. She threw her head back, arching her long neck beautifully as she moaned loudly. 

"Shit, you are so wet..." he said with wonder, feeling how moist and soft she was, with his fingers. He pressed his thumb against her clit lightly and she tightened herself around his hand. 

"Tony... Tony, please...." she whimpered. 

"Lie down on me, honey, come on." 

"No... too heavy... let me..." she moved off him, onto her side and he turned, so that he could keep touching her. 

"Raise your leg, place it on my hip, that's it, that's good, now I can easily touch you..."

He thrust another finger into her and she moaned. 

"Tonnny...!"

"Look at me, Potts. He said firmly and those big blue eyes focused on him. 

"Good girl... now just relax..."

"Tony, you aren't well..." she said softly.

"I may be a little weak but my fingers work perfectly fine. What do you think?" 

He deepened the thrust and she shuddered, whimpering loudly.

"I thought so." 

He kept touching her intimately, alternating between slow hard thrusts of his fingers and gently pushing his thumb against her clit. 

Pepper had closed her eyes, she was nibbling on her lips feverishly, her breath coming in pants as she grew more swollen and slick with every caress. 

He had three fingers in her now, thrusting into her steadily and she was rocking her hips into his hand. 

"Tony... Tony... please... please..." 

"Come for me, beautiful, come for me... just let yourself go..." 

Her pussy clenched tightly around his fingers and he pinched her clit hard between his fingers. That did it for Pepper. 

With a loud moan, she came right there and then, flooding his hand with her sticky wet release. 

He carefully withdrew his fingers and then kissed her flushed cheeks as she came down from her release. 

"I love you, Pepper."

"Tony..." she exhaled heavily. "I love you too..." 

They lay there quietly in a companionable silence. Then Pepper shifted and propped herself up on one elbow. She idly stroked his chest with one hand. 

"I want to love you too... but I don't want to hurt you."

"I agree..." he said wryly. "I don't want to strain myself. I want to get better, then I can make love to you properly." 

Pepper's eyes softened. She rubbed her knuckles along his jaw, making him shiver. 

"Look who is suddenly bothered about his own health! It seems my influence is finally working..."

Tony looked into her eyes and said seriously, "Pepper, honey, I'll do whatever it takes but I will change. For the better. But please... please come back... come back to me..." 

"Tony..."

"I love you, Pepper, I can't... I haven't been living since you left... I can't live without you... please come back..." 

He laughed bitterly. "You won't need to worry about me going on missions anymore. The Avengers are gone! I am just some broken crazy rich man with a tin suit!"

"Tony, that isn't true." She said softly, her eyes searching his. 

"I lost everything, Pep... even Rhodey." 

"Colonel James Rhodes isn't dead! He's going to get back on his feet! And you are going to be there, to help him do that, Tony. And you will get back on your own feet as well. You don't need the Avengers or Steve or anyone else. You are Iron Man. No one can take that away from you."

He was humbled by her faith in him and her steadfast reassurance. 

"You don't need Captain America or Thor or Natasha, Tony..." Pepper said fiercely. "You just need yourself. You can rebuild the Avengers or you can build something better and brighter, learning from your mistakes." 

He thought of the earnest Spider Kid, the Vision, Rhodey in his War Machine suit. 

"Yeah... I can... but... only if you are here with me, Pepper. Only if you are here by my side." 

She lowered her gaze and his heart dropped. 

"Everything good about me, the man that I am today, it is all from you." He said earnestly. "It's always been from you. You are truly my better half, Pepper Potts. I'll take more care, I'll step back from the missions, from the violence but I need you. I need you back, Pep..."

"Tony... truth be told..." she cupped his jaw and smiled at him with tears in her eyes. "I need you too... you are all I have, Tony Stark." 

He touched his forehead to hers, sighing happily. She nuzzled his face tenderly. 

"Do you really want to stay here?" She whispered. "In this freezing cold mansion. Do you want to go back home... our home in LA?" 

'Home.' 

'Our home.' 

Now those words filled him with peace. 

"I would like nothing better, Pep."

"I'll call the chopper. They'll take an hour. Till then, I can help you pack... but before I call them... would you like some pancakes?" 

His stomach chose that moment to growl in response and they both laughed. 

"I'll take that as a yes. Let me just clean up first." 

She slowly sat up and stretched languorously, making the thin t-shirt tighten sensually across her breasts. 

Tony lazily drank in the beautiful sight of her. She looked at him and shook her head.

"Don't you dare make bedroom eyes at me, Stark! We have all the time in the world, back in LA. Now you need to get better." 

He pouted and she giggled. 

"Someone wanted pancakes, if I remember?" 

"Oh yes!" He got up quickly and followed her to the kitchen. 

* * *

An hour later, they were waiting outside for the chopper to arrive. It had stopped snowing and the landscape was serenely white and calm. 

With Pepper's help, Tony locked the house securely and bent to pick up his suit bag. 

"I'll get that!" Pepper said and before he could stop her, she had it in her arms. 

"Give it here, Potts!"

"Mr. Stark, you better save your strength." she said, seductively batting her lashes at him. "You are going to need it in LA." 

He felt a thrill of arousal rush through him and nodded. They scanned the horizon, looking for any sign of the chopper. 

"Pepper, you said Friday gave you the coordinates..." he asked idly. "So you never had any intentions of going for the conference?"

"The conference was in LA." Pepper said softly. He looked at her in shock. "I flew here straight from the office, after informing the organizers that I would attend remotely. I knew you would be asleep by then." 

Tony was puzzled by her last statement. 

"What do you mean, you knew I would be asleep... how did you know I would fall asleep? I hadn't been able to sleep for the last 6 days, today you come along and oddly, I fall asleep..." 

He mulled it over. "Huh...come to think of it... that is strange... is it because I had a good meal?"

Then he took a good look at Pepper. She had turned a bright red, right up to her ears. 

"Pepper..." he said slowly.

"You needed to rest." she whispered, nibbling on her lip. "I knew you wouldn't be able to sleep, I knew your own mind, your guilty thoughts, your overthinking, would keep you awake. So I spiked the Grapico with painkillers..."

Tony felt his jaw drop. 

"Pepper... Fuck!"

"It was an extreme step, I'll admit... but you needed to rest. Friday told me about your insomnia."

"Fuck..." he whispered incredulously. "No wonder I felt so drowsy and started yawning, once I finished eating!"

"Yeah, they worked a little too well. I was afraid when you collapsed in the kitchen. I didn't expect the pills to act so fast. Then again, you are weak and tired." 

Tony scratched his head with his good arm. 

"Hang on... I was drugged... and falling asleep here and there... then how the hell did I always end up in the guest bedroom on the first floor?"

Pepper smiled smugly. 

"I used your suit to carry you upstairs each time. I know how to engage the manual lock, so I would put on your gauntlets and chest piece and carry you in my arms. That was easy." 

Tony stared at her in wonder. "You truly are a marvel, Miss Potts.... think what you could do, with a suit of your own."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "First your health, Mr. Stark. Then we will talk suits. I have some ideas." 

"Deal, Potts."

The snow still remained on the ground but the coldness in his heart had melted in the face of happiness. 

_Things we lose, have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sentence at the end, is a quote from Harry Potter. 
> 
> Writing this chapter after seeing all the gifsets of Tony dying... made me feel even worse.


End file.
